You know when singers win an award at the Grammy’s and say something like this in their acceptance speech…
“Wow I can’t believe I’m standing right here, right now, in the Staples Center with my very first Grammy! It feels like yesterday that I was just a little girl singing into my hairbrush, belting out a Whitney Houston song at the top of my lungs in the shower.”
Well, I just got in the BOSTON GLOBE! So this calls for an acceptance-speech remix…
“Wow I can’t believe I’m standing right here, right now, in
the Staples Center SPAIN with my very first Grammy BOSTON GLOBE ARTICLE! It feels like yesterday that I was just a little girl singing into my hairbrush SCREAMING INTO MY LAPTOP, belting out a Whitney Houston song “HELP” at the top of my lungs in the shower CARLENE’S 8AM J1 CLASS.”
Like what all celebrities say, I would like to thank my mom, my dad, and the man upstairs. I would also like to thank my editors, translators, J peers, and my fans (I can pretend)… I wouldn’t have been able to do this without you guys! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
What happens when Gina-Maria Garcia realizes she accidentally took Carlene Hempel’s cell phone with her to lunch?
She plays Carlene Calling!
So here’s how it works. I go through Carlene’s phonebook and pluck out a journalist to prank. Then I “break the news” to the J specimen that their story topic no longer will fly, and that they need to change, write, and report a new story within the next 24 hours, or in
Carlene’s my exact words, “have it on my desk by noon, tomorrow.”
SIDE NOTE: Keep in mind, we have been spending weeks on these articles, and having something like this happen to you would be like… I don’t know… anxiety attack central, and let me tell ya, no amount of Xanex could calm you down in a situation like this.
It’s awful, devious, mean, cruel, crooked, evil, absolutely fraudulent…… WHAT AM I SAYING?!
So, watch out J crew…
First Victim: Ian
Pulling off a prank like this isn’t easy, guys, and only someone whose favorite holiday is April Fools can successfully carry out a hoax like this.
I call it the 3P’s: Prepare, practice, and prank.
And that’s exactly what I did.
So, first step: Prepare a Carlene script.
What would Carlene say? Well, being Carlene’s student for 5 semesters, I know she has the tendency to call us “dearie,” and she always uses the word “okay” after giving us instructions. The tone of her voice is always calm, cool, and collected, but at the same time, there is this sort of vibe in her words that makes you feel, “Oh crap, she’s serious and I better do what she tells me.”
Second step: Practice the Carlene script.
I took a voice and articulation course one year that taught me how to throw my voice. You speak with the diaphragm, sit with good posture, and focus on the parts of the mouth and throat you need to use to accurately pin point the sounds that need to be made. After a few breathing exercises and vocal warm ups, I was ready…
Third step: Prank with the Carlene script.
Me- Ian, dearie, are you at the school?
Ian- Uhh, no I’m at lunch, I just left.
Me- Oh gosh, I wanted to catch you before you left. I needed to talk to you about your story topic. How far are you on your story?
Ian- I have all of my interviews, but I haven’t written anything…
Me- … Oh great! I was just speaking with Geoff (Carlene’s husband who is a Globe reporter), and we think you should change your story topic. Instead of a windmill story, we were thinking of a more general story about global warming, so you’re going to have to change the topic and have it on my desk by tomorrow at noon, okay?
Ian- Wait, so does that mean I have to get five more sources for a global warming story by tomorrow?
Me- Yeah, but shouldn’t be a problem!
Ian- Okay…. uh… I can do that?
Me- Alright, I’ll be here until 5:00 with Dylan if you need any help, okay?
Me- (Starts laughing but pretends I’m coughing) Hold on, *cough*, excuse me…
Ian- GINA! CUT IT OUT!
Ian, you have just been Carlene Called.
One story, two people, one week.
The next 5 days should be a breeze…
Are you ready Danny?
… that’s me singing along to these awesome Spanish tunes.
I have no idea who these artists are and what they’re saying, but every time I hear these songs when I’m out and about in Madrid, my gibberish lyrics and guiri (Spanish slang for foreigner) dance moves come out to play!
As every American girl overuses, I’M OBSESSED and CAN’T EVEN with this these tunes.
So friends, if you need some Spanish songs to spice up your American playlists, here are the ones you should be downloading:
1) Enrique Iglesias – Bailando (Español) ft. Descemer Bueno, Gente De Zona
AKA the best song in the world!
2) Aventura-Obsesión letra
How heavenly is the girl’s voice?
3) Michel Teló – Ai Se Eu Te Pego
This one is just flat out fun to listen to.
4) Romeo Santos – Propuesta Indecente
This one is the most romantic of them all… well, I think so.